New Stories

Which Animal Are You?

by Alyssa Bewszka

This article was featured in our 2020 April Fools’ Day issue, The Outsider, and was created solely to entertain.



Name: Turt 
Personality: Shy; hoarder; loves the color green; can come off as emotionless at times; enjoys long and slow walks; approach with caution; loves Italian food 

All photos by Alyssa Bewszka.



Name: Shelly
Personality: Always one foot in, one foot out with decision making; eventually comes out of her shell when you get to know her; enjoys long walks on the beach; loves seafood; independent; enjoys bar food 



Name: Little Red 
Personality: Can’t commit to anything; always bouncing around from place to place; loves bread; gains all of her weight in the winter; sleeps a lot; makes an appearance once in a while 


Name: Old Blue
Personality: Cheerful; loves blueberries; can be aggressive when approached; can fight and use flight; also enjoys bread; gets distracted easily; do not be fooled by cute looks 


Name: Quackers 
Personality: Big and cuddly; loves to travel; doesn’t speak much; favorite color is green; afraid of water; allergic to bread; prefers fish; can be approached with caution because he scares easily; also cries easily

Personality: May be smol but has a big personality; protecc but also attacc; has a big heart; extrovert; can’t swim well but loves water; tough cookie; not to be messed with; enjoys oatmeal


Name: Elroy
Personality: Gentle giant; very wise; hard of hearing; has terrible luck; very clumsy; loves mice; cannot fly but loves to try; has very soft skin; poor eyesight; very friendly; enjoys sweet treats  


Name: Ellie
Personality: Very fashionable; great luck; hard of hearing; not very wise; olive skin tone; very curious; great eyesight; friendly but protective of her S.O.; loves to run short distances; enjoys Triscuits 

Name: Bo Peep 
Personality: Loves parkour; will eat anything and a lot of it; loves the outdoors; very goofy; might attack but doesn’t really mean it; enjoys attention; enjoys kale smoothies



Name: Fireball
Personality: Very
efficient; plans well; very organized; well-mannered; usually pretty calm; spits fire when stressed; always in need of attention and chocolate; very good at hide and seek; loves spicy food

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: