This article was featured in our 2020 April Fools’ Day issue, The Outsider.
This article is not real, and it was created solely to entertain.
Recently, students reported seeing the Loch Ness Monster in the Slate Creek River multiple times.
Bystanders have described the sightings of the monster as horrifying and confusing, as the creek is not that large.
The sightings have caused an uproar across campus as students and community members alike tried to find the new beast in the creek.
A monster hunter was recently hired to track down the Loch Ness, as the students trying to track down the monster other folklore figures spotted on campus, like unicorns, have been distracted from their studies.
Ness Loche, an IT and Math Dual Major, shared her reaction to seeing the beast recently.
“I’m kind of disappointed to be honest about the monster’s appearance,” she said. “I thought the creature would be a lot bigger, less rubbery, and was more yellow than expected.”
There were also reports of duck-like footprints around Lynch Hall, which seem to be more common in the area. The question of whether the Loch Ness Monster is an ancient dinosaur or a giant duck that just hangs around creeks has been raised due to the recent footprints.
The Campus wants to find the monster and transfer it from Slate Creek to a larger lake in the near future.