I feel weird about hookups. Well, that is said without grace, there is nothing special or insightful about feeling weird. I’m not sure of how to put the thoughts and feelings into words, and weird does not suffice. So, I’ll go through certain feelings and talk about them.
Shame: It’s not a shame because of the fun, as they mostly are, but they make me feel like I’ve done something wrong. Maybe it’s growing up in the church that gives me trepidation while talking to someone on Tinder?
Love: Every time I kiss someone, it feels like I should be falling over and over in love with them. I don’t believe that this is everyone how hookups with people, as most people are not normally as sentimental as I am. I will find little things to fall in love with as I begin to barely know these people.
Regret: I know that it is okay to meet people online to come together as the mammals we are to scratch the inner itch, but each time they come and go, it feels that I’ve done something wrong, which relates to the shame I stated earlier.
These are just three feelings to convolve into the Thanksgiving dinner for the sex organs. There is nothing wrong with having sex, but each time I do outside of a relationship, I feel like I’ve done something wrong. It is a paradox of sorts. Maybe it’s best not to think? Maybe it’s best to not be so introspective about a religion I no longer partake in while hooking up with different people. The introspective nature of random hookups leads to nights spent feeling more alone than if they’d never came over at all.