Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetle… Famed Ghost Spotted on Pitt-Greensburg Campus

There has been an increase in sightings of a famous paranormal entity, Beetlejuice, in the new Life Sciences Building. Based on recent accounts, Beetlejuice is suspected to have recently migrated from his previous residence at Lynch Hall. 

“He’s a real prankster,” says Lydia Deetz, a sophomore majoring in dark arts and economics, who has encountered the devious spirit in the past. 

Beetlejuice is a bona-fide Hollywood star. The ghost has been the star of his own movie, musical, and cartoon series, and has lived up to his reputation as a mischievous specter. Back in his days of haunting Lynch Hall, he had been seen playing all sorts of pranks–from pulling the fire alarm, to planting whoopee cushions on chairs, to setting loose gangs of mice. 

Beetlejuice’s latest whimsies are causing mounting concern. Since moving to The Life Sciences Building, Beetlejuice has been possessing patient simulators in the skills lab, locking doors and hiding keys, and cloning himself.

“I hate the guy! I don’t know what he’s doing on our campus, but good luck.” Deetz says.

Beetlejuice was first spotted in Lynch Hall on Pitt-Greensburg’s campus back in 1988. Since the building already held a reputation for ghostly hauntings, the appearance of Beetlejuice was unsurprising for some, and frustrating for others.

Former ghostly resident of Lynch Hall, Casper the Friendly Ghost, says, “He came out of nowhere—no respect to those already haunting the place. I had to go back to the haunted mansion. It’s ridiculous.”

With the Life Sciences Building finally open, Beetlejuice has taken advantage of his new modern space. Nursing students report spotting him singing and dancing in the labs, and pretending to be a corpse when they practice their CPR training. 

Pleased with the Beetlejuice’s change of haunt, Casper has a few solemn words of advice for students and faculty in the Life Sciences Building.

“You’ll be fine. Probably. Just make sure not to say his name three times.”