Mandy Nelson and Miranda Smith debate whether jelly beans are good or bad.
Mandy: Why do Jelly Beans Still Exist?
As a kid, Easter baskets meant two things to me: chocolate and jelly beans. Now, I am a huge fan of chocolate. In fact, I love anything that is sweet. I eat ice-cream by the pint. I chug down cookies and brownies, and I love the classic gummy bears and sour patch kids. But here’s the thing about jelly beans: so many of them suck. They just don’t taste good. They’re too grainy with a flavorless interior. Or the flavor goes nowhere beyond sugar. Unfortunately, there are so many traditional flavors with amazing potential, but it’s a letdown every time. Blueberry, sour apple, watermelon and raspberry all sound delicious, but as soon as they are consumed they turn into the same grainy, sugary taste. To make matters worse, jelly beans come in a vast variety of flavors ranging from beer to buttered popcorn. That’s right, I said buttered popcorn? I don’t know about you, but if I wanted something that tasted like buttered popcorn I would, you know, make popcorn. In a jelly bean form, buttered popcorn is indescribable. It’s not bitter or sour, it’s just gross. Then there is the horror that is Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans – yes, the candy that came to be because of the Harry Potter world. Now, I have to be fair. The flavors that are “normal” are pretty good. But dirt? Spoiled milk? And yes, booger? Ugh. Why would anyone subject themselves to these awful tasting flavors? I just want to know. I think what bothers me most of all about jelly beans is that they have the potential to be so excellent. But when you crack open that flimsy plastic egg and see a few huge, clunky jelly beans, you know it’s going to taste like wax and be inadequately chewy all at once. It’s like coal in the stocking. Nothing is more disappointing than a disgusting jelly bean.
Miranda: Pro-Jelly Beans
Easter wouldn’t be complete without jellybeans in every basket.
What’s not to love about jellybeans? They have all types of flavors: Berry Blue, Juicy Pear, Peach, Tutti-Fruitti. The flavors are vibrant and unique. There’s something for everyone to enjoy.
I can agree that there are flavors that are completely gross, like Buttered Popcorn, Cinnamon, and Licorice. Sometimes though, that’s the whole point of jellybeans. Have you ever played Bean Boozled? If not, I suggest you fix that ASAP.
Not only is there a variety of flavors to choose from, they are also something that is exclusively an Easter treat. Jellybeans are not given around Christmas or Halloween. If you think about it, they’re shaped like little eggs for a reason. It’s a candy that screams spring time. Anything that reminds people of spring makes them happy.
Jellybean colors are fun and creative. No other candy I can think of has the same sets of colors that JellyBelly jellybeans do. Yes, M&Ms and Skittles are colorful bite-size candies, but they all taste the same. Jellybeans all have different flavors, not to mention, more than six to choose from.
The main mistake people make when judging jellybeans is lumping them all together. They are not all the same. Different brands create different final products. JellyBelly will always be the number one brand. If you’re making judgments on jellybeans based on something like Brach’s, then your argument is misinformed because everyone knows those jellybeans are gross.
I agree that jellybeans are a lot of sugar, but isn’t all candy? If you like Skittles, how is that sugar any different than the sugar in jellybeans?
All I’m trying to say is jellybeans don’t get the credit they deserve for being the best Easter candy. I would definitely take jellybeans over other Easter candy any day of the week.