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Ask A – My friend is in a new relationship

“My childhood friend has recently started dating a new guy who I don’t get along with. I’ve noticed the closer she gets with her boyfriend, the more distant she gets with me. How can I prevent us from losing our friendship?”- Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned Friend,

I speak from experience. In time, your friend will realize her mistake. Their relationship is new and exciting, so her decisions are jaded by emotions.

Be a good friend and suppor the relationship, even if you do not like her boyfriend. If she is happy, you should be happy for her. Refrain from making snide remarks about him or their relationship. She will become defensive. Trying to pull them apart will bring them closer together. Trust me.

Understand, their relationship is not your relationship. Your friendship does not depend on their relationship. Ask her if she could set aside time for the two of you. For example, make an agreement for her to spend Friday nights with you, Saturday nights with him.

If you fear your friend’s mental or physical well-being, talk to her first. Explain why you are concerned. Do not jump to conclusions and insist she break up with him. If it is an abusive relationship, she might be afraid to end it. Be clear you want to help and support her decisions and actions.

Are you concerned you, a friend, or a loved one is in an abusive relationship? Recognize the signs and find help. Visit http://www.respectislove.org

Sincerely,

A.

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