How Much Time Can You Spend Wasting Your Life Away on TikTok?

This article was featured in our 2020 April Fools’ Day issue, The Outsider.

If you haven’t downloaded TikTok yet, what are you doing with your life?

The platform allows for creators to release short videos. We’re talking about complex sagas in a minute or less, and you can get through way more in one hour than so many other services.

It isn’t just enough to know that there’s millions of videos at your disposal, there is literally something for everyone on this platform. If you want: a laugh, to see a bunch of thirst traps from 16-year-olds, informative content, tutorials, music, etc. I mean the list literally goes on and on.

Here are three positively delightful videos that will make wasting your time so enjoyable, you’ll spiral down the rabbit hole!

On this first episode of “How Much Time Can I Spend Wasting My Life” we have a vibe-check from @daliciaallen. This cinematic masterpiece warns that keeping a clear space means you won’t need to vibe check the clump of hair on your carpet that suspiciously looks like a spider.

Episode two comes from @joshuawitucki. This enlightened young man learns a valuable lesson in differentiating between origami, oregano, and orgasms. The differences are subtle, but important. This is a life lesson everyone should pay attention to.

The third and final episode is brought to you by @adrianxortix. In this thrilling story Adrian learns a hard lesson. Don’t ditch Netflix dates with your girlfriend to play Apex with the boys. If you do, don’t be surprised to find out she doesn’t love you.

There are thousands of more ways to waste your life on this platform, and you should be warned. Downloading this app as a joke will ruin your life, but what do you have to lose?

Thank you for coming to my TikTok.