April Fools: Greensburg Is Officially Changing Its Name

Greensburg City Council met recently to discuss changing the name of the city. The council had concluded that many individuals associate the word “green” with disgust and yucky vegetables such as brussel sprouts and broccoli.

“The city should no longer be associated with something as vile as asparagus,” one council official said.

Council members agreed that they wanted a “brighter” and “happier” association to the city, especially considering the number of colleges within the area.

To reinforce such positive connotations, the city council agreed to rename Greensburg  “Bluesburg.” 

“Blue can have numerous associations like water and the sky,” said one of the city officials. 

When questioned about not selecting yellow as the new addition to “-burg,” considering it typically represents the color of happiness, one of the members claimed it reminded him of pee, therefore was not a good fit. 

This change is to be put in place immediately and everything licensed under Greensburg is expected to change as soon as possible. Along with the change, an “h” will also be added to the end of “-burg.” (See story titled “Local Officials to Take The ‘H’ From Pittsburgh and Add It to Greensburg.”)

One official, speaking on behalf of the council, said, “The city of Bluesburg thanks you for the understanding of this important decision and hopes to witness the positive impact of this change.”