Pitt-Greensburg Does Away with the Traditional Grading System, Grades Students on Vibes

A new grading system will be implemented at Pitt-Greensburg on April 1, 2024. After fierce deliberation from the Pitt-Greensburg higher-ups, a trial-run grading system is to be enacted on campus to remove the current grading system’s biases. Students will receive their overall grades in their courses on the basis of their vibes, alone. 

Although the system is under scrutiny from university administrators nationwide, there’s much support from those on the Pitt-Greensburg campus. One proponent of the new system is Dr. PeacenLove, associate professor of agriculture at Pitt-Greensburg.

“I love it,” PeacenLove said. “It’s a surefire way to keep the grading system fair and balanced.” 

The new system assesses students based on their likability, chillness, and overall aura, and grades them accordingly on the vibes they give off in each category. Professors grade students on a scale from humblebragging to cool but emotionally unavailable.

However, not all are excited about the new system. For some students, the new grading system guarantees an easy A and requires minimal work outside of class. But for others, that is not the case.

“The new system sucks,” said Brady McLoserton, business major and D-minus student. “It’s asinine and completely unfair to those of us who actually study.”

Administrators assure students that the new system is absolutely fair, and those who think otherwise are simply “not chill.” 

Under the new grading system, scores at Pitt-Greensburg are on the rise and are currently surpassing the grades of those at the University of Pittsburgh’s main campus.

“It’s great for everyone,” PeacenLove said. “Pitt-Greensburg students have the coolest vibes around.”